


Ashes to Stone

by Akiko_Natsuko



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Friendship/Love, Gen, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Memories, Protectiveness, Sacrifice, Spoilers sort of for Family Shatters, Spoilers sort of for end of ep 95/episode 96, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22993840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Caleb Widogast wasn’t a good man. He knew that, accepted it. He wasn’t a good man, but he was trying to do better, and most of the time, that was enough. But not today, not with Caduceus' family on the line, and the ashes of his own in the back of his mind.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 91





	Ashes to Stone

**Author's Note:**

> Please note that if you want to talk to me about my fics and writing, or anime/shows/games in general then you can now find me on discord [The Unholy Trinity](https://discord.gg/sPa25ynH9q).

Caleb Widogast wasn’t a good man.

Rationally, he knew that several people would disagree with him vocally on that point, and one who would probably punch him if he said it aloud again. Just as he knew that those same people were biased, having only seen some of his better moments. He knew that, accepted it. He wasn’t a good man, but he was trying to do better, and most of the time, that was enough.

Not today.

Not with Caduceus standing a short distance in front of him, ears down and tail lashing in rare agitation and Caleb circled closer, wanting to comfort but not understanding what was wrong. Not until he saw the statues that the Firbolg was stood in front of, a pained understanding blossoming even before Caduceus hoarsely confirmed that they were his family. _Family._ The word echoed like a drumbeat in Caleb’s mind, or maybe that was his heartbeat, rising to a frantic pace as the bull creature emerged from the trees, panic and horror sharpening his focus. His mind beginning to race, calculating their odds in the fight, the chances of all the statues scattered across the sand surviving a battle intact, and the spells he had prepared that might swing the situation in their favour, and not liking the answers that he was coming up with.

_We could lose them._

That sounded far too close to _‘I killed them’,_ and his eyes darted back to Caduceus, and he swallowed thickly. Caduceus was wide-eyed and frozen in place; his fear and desperation were palpable. At that moment, he wasn’t a dutiful son searching for his family, but a terrified child confronted with the possibility of loss that was too great to put into words. It was a loss that Caleb wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy, flames simmering beneath the surface as he watched the others scattering, trying to pull the bull away and keep its attention from the statues, and he found himself doing the same, mirroring them, although his focus was torn between Caduceus, the figures that had put that expression on his face, and the memories stirring at the back of his mind.

The fight ebbed and flowed around them, and Caleb was with them, the magic closer than thought as always, and yet something in him was braced for things to go wrong. _We could lose them. We could lose them._ It echoed in the back of his mind. Following the beat of his heart and the thud of the bull’s hooves against the ground. Nott was in the air. The others were scattered. The creature comfortably away from Caduceus’ family for the time being, although that put it closer to their other family, this chaotic, mismatched group that had become so important. That was fine, that could be handled, molasses thick on his hands as he tried to snare the creature and slow it, aware of Yasha and Beau moving in and out, the latter slowing, caught by its power but not lost yet. Still manageable, still away from that possible loss that would destroy Caduceus.

Then the first statue broke.

Deep down he’d known that it was inevitable, after all, there wasn’t enough room for them to move away from all of the statues. That didn’t make the sound of shattering rock any easier to hear, or the dawning realisation that they’d just watched a life – a life that could have been saved – extinguished in front of them, and for a moment all Caleb saw was flames. It was a low sound from Caduceus that drew him back into the presence, eyes darting to the Firbolg, and he blanched at the terror in the pink eyes that were locked on the broken pieces lying scattered across the sand. It took a second, his thoughts a step behind his emotions for once, to realise that they didn’t know who it had been. That it could have been another member of Caduceus’ family, and it was like the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. _We could lose them._

His hands were trembling as he fumbled for his components, falling back towards the statues that Caduceus had recognised, mind racing. He hadn’t been prepared for protection, he had fire at his beck and call, a dozen offensive spells dancing through his thoughts. It would have to be enough. He couldn’t, wouldn’t let Caduceus lose his family.

Unfortunately, his retreat, and the flames he’d flung towards the creature, scorching and melting the edges of the metal plates - _flames dancing against the walls of his family home –_ caught its attention, and his breath caught as it charged towards him. Over it’s broad back, he could see the others giving chase, moving to cover him, and he wanted to shout at them not to bother. To remind them that there were more important things to protect. The words wouldn’t come as viridian eyes locked on him, the bull snorting and pawing at the sand, lining itself up for a charge. Caleb knew that he could move, maybe not fast enough to avoid it altogether, but enough to avoid the worst of the damage, but he couldn’t get his feet to move, because he wasn’t entirely sure where the statues were in relation to himself at the moment. His mind too full, his heart racing, and stomach-turning itself inside out.

He couldn’t move.

The attack when it came drove all thought from his mind, and air from his lungs as he was flung backwards. There was pain he was sure, somewhere beneath then numbness of shock, but he couldn’t focus on that, waiting for stone to block his flight. _We could lose them._ He managed to catch himself, staggering as his feet caught in the sand and he went down one knee to brace himself, risking a glance over his shoulder, breath catching as he saw the precious statues far too close for comfort. _I killed them._ For a moment, his vision wavered, the faces morphing into those that haunted his memories, and there was a roaring sound in his ears.

_No._

Fire crackled around him, past and present, spreading out in a web and rushing towards the bull. It wasn’t going to be enough, he knew that even before the flames hit the creature, and while it left more than a little damage, all it seemed to do was enrage it, and for a moment their gazes met. _I won’t let you,_ Caleb thought, defiance born of desperation in his expression, already knowing that it wouldn’t stop the inevitable as it drew in a great breath before releasing it. The rush of air that washed over him was eerily cold, and it seemed to wrap around him, searching for a weakness, and even as he tried to resist it, he knew that it was useless. The chill settling into his body, restricting him, and he grimaced at the sensation, knowing that this was just the first step.

A blitzkrieg of attacks hit the bull, trying to drag it’s attention away from him. It wasn’t enough. The bull sensed blood in the water, its attention riveted on Caleb, who realised with a sinking feeling that in his efforts to protect Caduceus’ family all he had done was draw its wrath towards them. He couldn’t look towards the Firbolg, he couldn’t move, feeling the petrification beginning to take root. _I didn’t want this,_ he thought desperately.

It wasn’t even just that he wanted to protect Caduceus from the pain of such a loss, because he felt almost as though he knew them from the tales that Caduceus had shared with them about his family. Silly little stories, pranks and adventures between siblings, the love of a son who missed his parents, tales of a child who would never have left home if he hadn’t needed to. Caleb had never begrudged him the stories or memories, Caduceus was a good person, who deserved that kind of family. It hadn’t stopped him from imaging what it must be like to have that foundation, to know that one day you could go back to it.

“Caleb!”

“CALEB!”

Frantic voices tore him out of his thoughts, and back into the grim present as he took stock of his condition. The stiffness was spreading now. His body slow to respond to his commands, and as he stared down at his hands, three of his fingers already grey and unmoving, he cursed as he realised that he was running out of time. The bull pawing at the sand again, readying itself for another charge and Caleb took a ragged breath. _Please,_ he wasn’t sure what he was praying for, or who he was praying too. The Wildmother who loved Caduceus so much? The Traveller? The flames that roared in his ears as the past blurred the present, and simmered beneath his skin? He wasn’t sure, but it was the flames that responded, leaping in response to his last desperate wish and rushing towards the creature, stirring up the sand in their wake, glass glistening in their wake.

The stone was spreading, pale skin giving way to grey, one hand still pressed against the sand and he blinked at it before lifting his head. He saw the flames hit, engulfing the bull as the petrification spread up his legs, locking him in place on one knee. He heard it bellowing, fury shifting to agony as fire, and sand and glass whipped around it, as his abdomen solidified and his breath caught in his chest. Distantly he was aware of the sound cutting off with a squeal that reminded him of animals being slaughtered, and he bowed his head, eyes closing as the world faded with that sound, a final thought creeping out before he stilled completely.

_I am not a good man, but at least this time I did something good…_


End file.
